I’m surprisingly losing everything all at once. I don’t know what’s going on and why everyone is acting this way, and instead of crying about it, I’m just going to accept the fact that they don’t care. Again, I thank everyone who has come in and out of my life because I think I’m a better person now. An unhappy person, but better.
Wish I knew how to make it all fucking stop, and how to stop blaming myself for everything.
Before I met you.
I smoked cigarettes when I drank, or when I got stressed. I smoked other things. I got into some bad things. I drank multiple four lokos at one time. I was carefree. I partied hard. I didn’t want a boyfriend, I wanted multiple guys. I was never home. I didn’t work or make my own money. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, nor did I care. I had potential.
Now.
I can’t stand smoking, anything. I refuse to be around it, or associated with it. I think it’s ridiculous and unnecessary. I’m a good kid, I know where I’m going with my life. I still party, but I know my limit and I take care of my friends. I work two jobs and make my own money and pay my own bills and it feels great. I have an amazing boyfriend and I wouldn’t trade him for anything in the world, and I would never do anything to hurt him. And I’m using my potential now.
I grew up. And I never knew and/or cared about what I would do with my good grades or high school diploma.
I thank you for you.
Mom, dad, Corie, Travis. I thank all of you.
You can’t expect me not to be mad, especially when I’m trying my ass off to make you happy and make our relationship amazing, and then you pull that stuff.
I’m really not angry, I’m upset and hurt, and that’s worse. Especially since you’re leaving soon and I won’t even get to speak to you..
I hate talking to my old best friend. We talk about things that were doing with other people, that we would have been doing together. It’s so weird. We were attached at the hip, now we act like classmates..
Glee left me really upset last night, but also really proud. People think glee is this “stupid show about singing and gay people” but it’s really taught me a lot, honestly. A confused football star attempts suicide because he’s tired of the constant harassment. That shit happens every day, and it’s the most upsetting thing in the world. They show women who treat others badly because they are hurting in the inside. Even Brittany, being a little slower, still shows respect and affection towards other people, so people give her that same respect. Even Finn and Rachel, young lovers who want to give up their dreams to be together. They plan on getting married, but she gets into her dream school, and instead of going, she wants to stay back to be with him. The typical “in love” boy would have let her do that, but Finn makes her go. He cries and tells her how much he loves her, but knows deep down that she needs to follow her dreams. She’s still young, and he plays the fate card with her.
It really is a moving show. Sometimes marriages don’t work out, women being abused, or even your parents being too harsh on you.
The show has it all, it can literally help every kind of hurting we experience through school and life.
I’ll honestly miss all of my favorite characters, they made the show what it was, and really gave me a good life lesson and never failed to make me cry.
:’)
